Sunday, December 5, 2010

Greetings from the perch

From the perch, on the new mobile internet stick, which is a bit slow, but it's pay-as-you-go, so the best solution for now...

The walls of the rat's nest were starting to close in on me. It's sunny for at least part of every day here, but the sun isn't hot enough to come through the awning, and if we raise the awning I feel very exposed, because the building that used to block the view of my balcony from the next street got torn down and replaced with a parking lot. So I decided to escape to the perch for a few days, to be joined by the handyman, K and the Spaz on Tuesday.

In other news,
'twas with great pride that I listened to the super-duper tile guy praise the tiles I had gotten for the bathroom floor and walls. Porcelain tiles (white on the back instead of ceramic-colored), great quality, from the discount tile place. (Also, the rat's nest bathroom is really small, so in any case, nothing would have broken the bank.) (Except these amazing little ones made of real stones with a few glass ones, costing close to 500euros a square meter.) So apparently one of the reasons these tiles are so great is that they're really hard, which was proved when I broke every single one of my drill bits trying to put up the towel rack. Oh! Also proved Thursday night BY MY FACE!

One a.m. I was writing a delicate email and really wanted to finish while I was inspired. Mom, however, had gone to sleep. The Princess of the Fake Orgasm started up. She had been active throughout the rest of the day (including common silence time (siesta)), but I had decided that I wouldn't do anything unless she actually woke me up. But it really pissed me off that she would wake up my mom, so I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to get a frying pan to bang on the wall. Head rush, dizziness, jelly legs, face crashing into the bathroom floor (hadn't made the turn into the kitchen yet, but that "mosaic" marble is probably not much softer than porcelain.) Question: When other people fall, why do they catch themselves with their hands, while I fall, quite literally, flat on my face? Actually, a little more to the left, because that is where the forehead and chin goose eggs are, as well as the dark purple bruises that make me look like I have an off-center BLACK goatee.

I know that you think, especially those of you who have known me a long time, that I exaggerate here, because I want to make a good story. I am capable of exaggeration, but here I am not exaggerating. No amount of concealer is going to cover this up, and with only around 2,000 whites, I will be extra freakish for a while. Maybe on Friday, when I have to go to the city for my blood tests, I'll wear a mask. That way, I'll look like I'm being cautious, and will not get chastised by the docs. I'll already be in trouble because I was supposed to tell them if I got a fever, but I knew they'd check me in if I told them I have had a low-grade fever every day since Wednesday. I don't care because I sometimes have to feel like I have a little control over my life. If I had real control, of course, I would kick my blood's ass and make it do my bidding! I am missing my scheduled chemeo because of my low platelet count. I was supposed to have my next therapy tomorrow, but now it'll be next Monday at the earliest.

In other news,
Kazzie is gifted. Besides knowing how to instill people with healing Kazzie power, she can now roll over! The fact that she can roll over on K and B's mushy-gushy padded mattress means that on a nice firm mattress (like mine on the perch and in the rat's nest) she should be able to do cartwheels. Also, she can speak! If you can't understand her magical language, that's your problem, but she has become quite vocal.


I hope you're not friends with K on fb, because she seems to have gotten a jump on me with this news!!! With the same picture! That day at the rat's nest, Dap also got a pic of K and the Spaz, with me in the corner, stuffing my face with pickled peppers! I'm glad K didn't post that one, and I'm sure not going to! Here the Kaz is mesmerized by a papier maché cat, gifted to me years ago by fantastic student, Lina Banana. I am holding her and absorbing Kazzie healing power and anti-fever power! This may be the last pic I post from the perch because it took about 30 min to upload with the new stick. A bit slow, you see.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

The one time I passed out, from dehydration after having the flu, I did give a lot of thought to what happens when you fall and don't put your hands out. I got lucky and fell backwards though. And since my bruises were on my posterior and possibly the back of my head, nobody could see them. I'm sorry you fell! Did you ever make it to bang your frying pan? Could you send D to talk to your neighbor? Or the Handyman?

FSM said...

R - I offered but they refused to let me yell. So I talked loudly about her rudeness (I personally think she is a pr0stitute) outside her door but mom got mad at ME! There is such a thing as too much politeness.

On a happier note, my perfect baby has taken THREE naps today (unheard of) and it's only 4:30.

Unknown said...

You exaggerate for literary flourish, never! Hopefully your time at the perch will be less eventful.

I had a great talk with K last week. Hadn't talked with her since Kazzie was born. Hope to be able to talk to you soon too. Enjoy your time with the whole clan at the perch.

-c