from back in room 42...
I always say, if you buy clothes that are too tight and made from very ugly fabric, they might as well have something really clever written on them, such as the above. And spelled correctly, of course.
Dear Muffin-top girl,
Either you don't understand English and you're an idiot because you wear something that could say anything, OR you understand and are a huge dork.
Your friend,
The Queen of the MEGA Mainline
I would say that a garden hose sticking into your side and fed up ten inches into your chest qualifies as a MEGA mainline. Especially if it has the extra grossness factor of draining bloody fluid into a cool little plastic graduated container. [If I drown in my own sweat, of course, due to the fact that it's 150 degrees in here, the whole question of mainlines will be moot.]
I have also been given a cool contraption with plastic balls in it, which I get to take home when I check out. When you suck on the mouthpiece, the balls hit the top of the contraption. It's supposed to make your lungs stronger. They hadn't originally given me one but I asked for it because it looks cool. Right now I can only raise one ball...
Lots of neat equipment this time in the ospedale.
Also lots of brilliant drogas to keep me happy and pain-free.
"FOOD" TO AVOID:
1 ospedale food
2 airplane food
3 I will add to this list as I think of things
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
ΔΕΣ ΤΗ ΘΕΤΙΚΗ ΠΛΕΥΡΑ ΤΗΣ ΖΩΗΣ
from neither the perch nor the nest, but
the ospedale,
from which I will not write about rude,
stinky people, although I oh so easily
COULD
because there is lots of material
here,
instead:
The "Greek Elvis" gets credit for the finishing touches to the following plan, originally suggested by G and El in the comments, and which I will implement as soon as I return to the projects (my neighborhood) and, more specifically, the cuca hatchery (my building) and, most specifically, the rat's nest:
1. fill paper bag with dog poo
2. set bag on fire
3. ring bell and run away
4. Vromyar II comes to door, stomps on bag, covering shoe/slipper with flaming, stinky shit
5. ring back door bell (!) or in this case, throw sth on his balcony to draw his attention
6. Vromyar II runs through entire house to balcony, tracking dog shit throughout the flat
brilliant simply brilliant
the ospedale,
from which I will not write about rude,
stinky people, although I oh so easily
COULD
because there is lots of material
here,
instead:
The "Greek Elvis" gets credit for the finishing touches to the following plan, originally suggested by G and El in the comments, and which I will implement as soon as I return to the projects (my neighborhood) and, more specifically, the cuca hatchery (my building) and, most specifically, the rat's nest:
1. fill paper bag with dog poo
2. set bag on fire
3. ring bell and run away
4. Vromyar II comes to door, stomps on bag, covering shoe/slipper with flaming, stinky shit
5. ring back door bell (!) or in this case, throw sth on his balcony to draw his attention
6. Vromyar II runs through entire house to balcony, tracking dog shit throughout the flat
brilliant simply brilliant
Friday, May 21, 2010
Pushy charity people
From a rat's nest with a face lift:
A very annoying charity solicitor just left a bad taste in my mouth. So this man and younger woman ring the doorbell. It takes me a minute to get to the door, I open it, and the following ensues:
ACS: Where were you? I was starting to get worried!
me: [WTF?]
ACS: It's May 21st, here we are!
me: [see above]
ACS: It's Sts. Helen and Konstantine Day, so we're here like every year, collecting money for kids hurt in car accidents. Everybody in the building has contributed whatever they can.
me: [Yeah, right.] Well, thanks, but I support specific charities [this and this] [didn't get specific with him] which I research in advance and can't afford to give any more.
ACS: [looking at me with scorn] But it's for handicapped kids.
me: Yes, I know. Goodbye.
ACS: [scorn scorn scorn until I close the door]
My opinion: Don't you want to be a good ambassador for your charity? Maybe I'll give next year. Isn't it bad PR to say, basically, f-you for not contributing to my charity which you've never heard of? I'll add that I'm pretty sure they were on the up-and-up and not a con.
Crazy thing at work. There's this dude, P, who works (actually worked) in marketing. An aside: He's this guy that went to get tested to be a platelet donor for me, but when we asked him to actually go donate (twice), he couldn't go (either time) because he wanted to be able to get drunk the night before. I think once was a Tuesday and the other time, a Thursday. Anyway, it turns out that for the past twelve months he's been lying about going out to see clients. He's been getting his normal salary, charging the company for gas, sometimes putting in for overtime, and filling out client cards (assessment of visit, etc) and NEVER GOING TO A SINGLE CLIENT! I guess the people in marketing don't get paid commission at our company. I really wonder how he got away with it for so long. Boss is very upset, but it's partly his fault because apparently he hired this dude because he's friends with his mother. Ah, nepotism.
Yesterday I actually saw Vromyar II on the street. (Confirmed by G due to the five-boxes-of-stogies incident of a few days ago.) He is not the dude I thought he was. He is, however, a naked mole rat in smelly clothing. A pale creature of the night and smoker of cheap stogies. G's spot-on (paraphrased) comment: I guess if you smoke stinky cigars all day, you don't care about personal hygiene. Dude, this dude had some serious B.O. WHICH I DON"T CARE ABOUT. I don't care about anyone's smell or appearance or habits as long as they do not infringe on my right to sit in my living room and not smell nasty nasty cigar smoke all the live-long day and night. I must take measures. I must put dog doo in a paper bag, slip it under his door and step on it. I think you're also supposed to set it on fire... I will have to look into the correct technique. Oh, Arfur, where are you when I need you?!?!?!!
A very annoying charity solicitor just left a bad taste in my mouth. So this man and younger woman ring the doorbell. It takes me a minute to get to the door, I open it, and the following ensues:
ACS: Where were you? I was starting to get worried!
me: [WTF?]
ACS: It's May 21st, here we are!
me: [see above]
ACS: It's Sts. Helen and Konstantine Day, so we're here like every year, collecting money for kids hurt in car accidents. Everybody in the building has contributed whatever they can.
me: [Yeah, right.] Well, thanks, but I support specific charities [this and this] [didn't get specific with him] which I research in advance and can't afford to give any more.
ACS: [looking at me with scorn] But it's for handicapped kids.
me: Yes, I know. Goodbye.
ACS: [scorn scorn scorn until I close the door]
My opinion: Don't you want to be a good ambassador for your charity? Maybe I'll give next year. Isn't it bad PR to say, basically, f-you for not contributing to my charity which you've never heard of? I'll add that I'm pretty sure they were on the up-and-up and not a con.
Crazy thing at work. There's this dude, P, who works (actually worked) in marketing. An aside: He's this guy that went to get tested to be a platelet donor for me, but when we asked him to actually go donate (twice), he couldn't go (either time) because he wanted to be able to get drunk the night before. I think once was a Tuesday and the other time, a Thursday. Anyway, it turns out that for the past twelve months he's been lying about going out to see clients. He's been getting his normal salary, charging the company for gas, sometimes putting in for overtime, and filling out client cards (assessment of visit, etc) and NEVER GOING TO A SINGLE CLIENT! I guess the people in marketing don't get paid commission at our company. I really wonder how he got away with it for so long. Boss is very upset, but it's partly his fault because apparently he hired this dude because he's friends with his mother. Ah, nepotism.
Yesterday I actually saw Vromyar II on the street. (Confirmed by G due to the five-boxes-of-stogies incident of a few days ago.) He is not the dude I thought he was. He is, however, a naked mole rat in smelly clothing. A pale creature of the night and smoker of cheap stogies. G's spot-on (paraphrased) comment: I guess if you smoke stinky cigars all day, you don't care about personal hygiene. Dude, this dude had some serious B.O. WHICH I DON"T CARE ABOUT. I don't care about anyone's smell or appearance or habits as long as they do not infringe on my right to sit in my living room and not smell nasty nasty cigar smoke all the live-long day and night. I must take measures. I must put dog doo in a paper bag, slip it under his door and step on it. I think you're also supposed to set it on fire... I will have to look into the correct technique. Oh, Arfur, where are you when I need you?!?!?!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
larger-scale rejection
Sickie news of the week in brief: got rejected after 2 days in hospital, couldn't go through with surgery due to very low whites and platelets. Values had tanked for no reason from ten days previously. Went back to haematologists to figure it out. Had bone marrow biopsy. Initial glance shows cancer hasn't spread to bones. Back on another type of 'roid to see if my own immune system is attacking my blood cells. Will find out in 5 days...End of sickie update.
I always think of things I want to mention in this blog but when I sit down to write, they either seem unimportant (more unimportant than some of the things I write about? ¿es posible?) or I forget them. One thing I could say is that at this moment I am procrastinating cooking. I am going to make shepherd's pie. This is something I assume is simple to make and has the ingredients I have on hand (basically ground beef and potatoes, I think). I have never made it before. Cross your fingers because I'm starting to get very hungry.
Remember I mentioned that ice tower? It was almost worth spending two days in the hospital next to a woman with no manners to see a tower of ice in the middle of a heat wave.
That partial oil drum in the first picture gives you an idea of the size of the thing. Isn't it cool?
[Just learned shepherd's pie is supposed to be made with lamb...will find a recipe with beef...found one...all is well]
Since this is a random post I will now show you pics of the 'rents' trellis two weeks ago. By the way, all pics taken on the mobile so quality is dubious. You will be proud to know I managed to upload them onto the computer by myself.
The roses are already amazing this year. In other gardening news, the plants on my balcony have been joined by a pot of rosemary (A sprig of fresh rosemary is crucial for the chicken pot pie variation I make constantly.) and a pot of thyme. The plants on the balcony are perking up thanks to my exciting new purchase, the coily, spring-like hose! With multiple-function attachment. Besides making it very easy to water the plants, I can use it to spray my downstairs neighbor, the nasty cheap-cigar smoker, whom G saw getting into the elevator the other day with five boxes of stogies!!! Needless to say, I slept with the balcony doors closed that night. Nasty, nasty man.
I'm so hungry that I'm starting to get a headache so I bid ye hasta lou. If the shepherd's pie comes out any good, I will probably boast about it in my next post. If you don't hear about it, you'll know why.
I always think of things I want to mention in this blog but when I sit down to write, they either seem unimportant (more unimportant than some of the things I write about? ¿es posible?) or I forget them. One thing I could say is that at this moment I am procrastinating cooking. I am going to make shepherd's pie. This is something I assume is simple to make and has the ingredients I have on hand (basically ground beef and potatoes, I think). I have never made it before. Cross your fingers because I'm starting to get very hungry.
Remember I mentioned that ice tower? It was almost worth spending two days in the hospital next to a woman with no manners to see a tower of ice in the middle of a heat wave.
That partial oil drum in the first picture gives you an idea of the size of the thing. Isn't it cool?[Just learned shepherd's pie is supposed to be made with lamb...will find a recipe with beef...found one...all is well]
Since this is a random post I will now show you pics of the 'rents' trellis two weeks ago. By the way, all pics taken on the mobile so quality is dubious. You will be proud to know I managed to upload them onto the computer by myself.
The roses are already amazing this year. In other gardening news, the plants on my balcony have been joined by a pot of rosemary (A sprig of fresh rosemary is crucial for the chicken pot pie variation I make constantly.) and a pot of thyme. The plants on the balcony are perking up thanks to my exciting new purchase, the coily, spring-like hose! With multiple-function attachment. Besides making it very easy to water the plants, I can use it to spray my downstairs neighbor, the nasty cheap-cigar smoker, whom G saw getting into the elevator the other day with five boxes of stogies!!! Needless to say, I slept with the balcony doors closed that night. Nasty, nasty man.I'm so hungry that I'm starting to get a headache so I bid ye hasta lou. If the shepherd's pie comes out any good, I will probably boast about it in my next post. If you don't hear about it, you'll know why.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Ospedale etiquette, people!
from room 42, a triple
For the past 2+ hours the woman in the bed next to me has had five (!) visitors. They are occupying all the chairs (two of the people sitting down are young men). They are f-ing loud. Tomorrow is my biopsy, so I'm going to tell the lady (after they leave) to stagger her visitors tomorrow. The other woman has three visitors, also very loud. (Just heard inconsiderate chick number 1 is expecting someone else!) Unbelievable. The sibs and the BIL brought me lunch and we ate it at a picnic table outside. Didn't bother anybody. I am about to ask one of the young men to stand up so I can take a chair out to the balcony and get away from the noise pollution. Hold on.
Ok. that's better. I can hear that another person just walked in but I don't care any more.
I'm allowed one hormone-filled yoghurt tonight before midnight, and then no food or water until after the surgery. Unfortunately they brought the yoghurt at 6pm. So now it's going to be warm and runny...
That's all for my curmudgeonly post. Soon I will upload pics of the world's biggest ice-covered oxygen tank which we saw on our way back from our picnic.
For the past 2+ hours the woman in the bed next to me has had five (!) visitors. They are occupying all the chairs (two of the people sitting down are young men). They are f-ing loud. Tomorrow is my biopsy, so I'm going to tell the lady (after they leave) to stagger her visitors tomorrow. The other woman has three visitors, also very loud. (Just heard inconsiderate chick number 1 is expecting someone else!) Unbelievable. The sibs and the BIL brought me lunch and we ate it at a picnic table outside. Didn't bother anybody. I am about to ask one of the young men to stand up so I can take a chair out to the balcony and get away from the noise pollution. Hold on.
Ok. that's better. I can hear that another person just walked in but I don't care any more.
I'm allowed one hormone-filled yoghurt tonight before midnight, and then no food or water until after the surgery. Unfortunately they brought the yoghurt at 6pm. So now it's going to be warm and runny...
That's all for my curmudgeonly post. Soon I will upload pics of the world's biggest ice-covered oxygen tank which we saw on our way back from our picnic.
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